What Are Wedding Traditions & Why Are They So Important?
The Lowdown on the Most Popular Wedding Traditions: Because Who Doesn't Love Wedding Cake?
So, you're getting married and suddenly everyone's like, "Oh, you have to do this" and "You can't forget that." But what IS the deal with all these wedding traditions, anyway?
Well, let's get real for a second. Some of these customs are sweet and sentimental, while others are just plain weird (we're looking at you, garter toss). But hey, the white dress, the exchanging of vows and OH YES, the RING - we love that, right? So, we're breaking down the most popular wedding traditions in the US and giving you the lowdown on what they're actually all about.
A Brief History of Wedding Traditions (aka The Short Version)
The White Wedding Dress:
This one's been around since Victorian times, when white symbolized purity and innocence. Today, it's more like, "Hey, I'm rocking this gorgeous white dress because it's beautiful and I am amazing and I can." There's just something magical about slipping into that perfect white gown and suddenly transforming from 'almost married' to FULL-ON BRIDE MODE. And remember, there's one major rule to keep in mind: NO ONE should even THINK about wearing white unless they’re the bride - that's just fashion faux pas 101!
The Exchange of Vows:
This is the moment of truth. You're about to make the BIG promises to each other - to love, cherish, and put up with each other's quirks (like leaving the cap off the toothpaste). Your wedding vows are the heart of the ceremony, and they're what make your commitment to each other official. It turns out that wedding vows have their roots in medieval England, where they were part of a collection of church rituals called the Sarum Rite. Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, helped popularize the practice by including a translation in his Book of Common Prayer back in 1549. Today, making vows to each other is still a powerful way to declare your love and commitment - and it's a moment you'll always remember.
The Bouquet & Garter Toss:
It's no secret that weddings can get a little wild, but medieval Europe took it to a whole new level. Back then, guests believed it was good luck to touch the bride or snag a piece of her outfit, which often led to some pretty aggressive bouquet-grabbing and dress-tugging. To avoid getting mobbed by well-meaning but overzealous guests, brides started tossing their bouquets as a clever distraction, essentially saying, "Hey, look over there! Flowers!" while making a quick escape. Over time, this chaotic tradition evolved into the more civilized bouquet toss we know today, where the bride tosses her flowers to single women as a symbol of good fortune and happiness. Or, let's be real, maybe it's just an excuse for the bride to give her single friends a gentle nudge towards the altar.
Similarly, to prevent their clothing being ripped during this chaos , the groom would toss the garter - which held up the bride's stockings - to the crowd as a way to appease them. Some sources even suggest that this act evolved to serve as proof of consummation, with the groom presenting the garter to family and friends as a symbol of the marriage being official. Over time, this rowdy tradition evolved into the modern garter toss we know today, where the groom removes the garter during the reception and tosses it to unmarried male guests as a fun activity and a way to wish them good luck in finding their own love.
The Wedding Cake:
The tradition of wedding cakes has been around since ancient Rome, where a wheat or barley cake was broken over the bride's head to ensure good fortune and fertility. Because, you know, a little cake-based superstition never hurt anyone. As time went on, medieval English couples started stacking small cakes brought by guests and trying to kiss over them - which sounds like a fun, if slightly awkward challenge. By the Victorian era, white icing became the rage after Queen Victoria's iconic wedding cake in 1840. Today, cutting the cake together is still a beloved wedding reception activity, mostly because it's a nice way for the newlyweds to practice their teamwork skills (and also because cake). Many couples choose to save the top tier of their cake for a special treat on their first anniversary - a sweet reminder of the day they promised to love each other, even when the cake is gone.
The Wedding Rings:
The tradition of exchanging wedding rings dates back to ancient Egypt, where couples wore rings made of woven reeds or leather - because nothing says "I love you" like scratchy plant material. The Greeks and Romans later adopted this custom, upgrading to iron and copper rings, because who needs romance when you can have a ring that's also a decent paperweight? But in all seriousness, the circle shape of the ring was seen as a powerful symbol of eternity and endless love, traditionally worn on the fourth finger of the left hand, believed to be connected directly to the heart (aww, sweet!). Fast forward to today, and we've got rings in all shapes, sizes, and sparkliness levels. And yet, despite all the changes, one thing remains the same: the promise to love and cherish each other, even when the ring gets stuck on your finger and you have to use soap to get it off.
Why Wedding Traditions Matter (Even If They're a Little Quirky)
So, why do we still bother with these traditions today? Well:
It's a Celebration & Club Dues:
Wedding traditions bring people together and create a shared experience that your guests will be talking about for years to come. Much like the secret handshake of married couples, these traditions are a way to say, 'Hey, we're part of this crazy club too!' And just like any good club, there are initiation rituals - aka the bouquet toss, garter toss, and awkward first dance. These activities are like a wink to all the other married folks in the room, saying, 'We've been there, done that, and survived (mostly) unscathed.' It's a way to celebrate & connect with others who have also taken the leap into matrimony, and to reminisce about their own wedding day shenanigans. So, by participating in these traditions, you're essentially getting your membership card to the Married Couples' Club - complete with all the perks and pitfalls that come with it.
It's Romantic & Probably Expected:
Warning: these wedding customs may cause excessive swooning, spontaneous 'awwws', and irreversible feelings of lovey-doveyness. Your moms, sisters, aunts, and BFFs have been waiting for these special moments for you (no pressure!), and let's be real, they're expecting some serious rom-com magic. These are the moments that make everyone go weak in the knees - think The Notebook, minus the rain (unless you're having an outdoor ceremony, in which case, fingers crossed for a picturesque drizzle). So, get ready to make some unforgettable memories, and possibly even make your guests cry happy tears (bonus points if you can get the groom to tear up too).
It's Personal & Can be Your Own Version:
Incorporating traditions into your wedding is a great way to express your personal style and values as a couple - and by 'personal style', we mean 'your weird quirks and interests that you're hoping will become endearing habits in the eyes of your partner'. You can customize these traditions to fit your unique vibe, like adding a pop of color to your wedding dress or writing your own vows (so special when a few inside jokes are woven in). Some couples have even started handing off the bouquet and garter to the longest-married couple in attendance, asking for their advice on how to make it through 35+ years without driving each other crazy. And let's not forget about the cake - colored icing, elaborate designs, and non-traditional flavors are all fair game. Even your rings can get in on the action, with unique designs and materials that reflect your individuality (or shared love of video games, we won't judge).
And… You Can Even Start Your OWN Traditions:
Wedding traditions - love them or hate them, they will continue to be around for a long time! But don’t be afraid to be a little UN-traditional! If you're not feeling the whole white dress thing, no big deal. Go for ivory, blush pink, or heck, even purple if that's your jam. Don’t really care for the bouquet toss and garter throw? If those just aren't your thing, skip 'em! Your competitive cousin will survive not ripping their dress to block your sister from catching your flowers! Not a fan of wedding cake? Choose an alternative dessert! Although this one is touchy - your guests might be a little disappointed if there's no cake (because CAKE), but maybe have a small groom’s cake or buy a sheet cake from Costco to serve and if y’all prefer pie or cookies, make that your big dessert! My husband & I actually had a groom’s cake (chocolate so not very “bridal”) and then served cups of banana pudding on a tiered stand so it looked like the shape of a wedding cake. But seriously, there are so many amazing wedding traditions out there - some cultural, some family-specific, and some just plain fun. So pick the ones that feel like you and your partner, and ditch the rest. And hey, why not start your own tradition while you're at it? Maybe you'll be the couple who starts a new trend of having donut holes at every wedding in your family going forward. The point is, make your wedding day your own, and don't be afraid to break with tradition if that's what feels right.